Back to School Giant Monster Cookies

Am I the only one who feels like back to school is weird?

You too?

I mean, stores start selling back-to-school supplies sometime around May, and Halloween decor goes up approximately twelve minutes after the Fourth of July fireworks stop.

Advertisers seem convinced that every parent on earth is on cloud nine about their kiddos going back to school, and I’m over here thinking, Hey…I LIKE my kids.

Now that mine are in college, back to school means tuition payments, and I dare anyone to act like that’s fun.

You know what I do like about back to school?

Back-to-school treats.

Because who wouldn’t be down for an “after-school snack” that includes peanut butter, oats (totally healthy start…), and a metric ton of M&M’s?

I know. I didn’t fool you for one second into thinking this was going to be a healthy after-school snack post.

Nope.

This is a “They assigned HOW much homework on day one? Here, have a cookie” post.

Or maybe a “Tuition went up by HOW much? Now I’M going to have a cookie” post.

Either way, cookies seem like a reasonable response.

Why Giant Monster Cookies?

Because if we’re making monster cookies, I feel like we should commit.

These aren’t dainty little two-bite cookies politely waiting beside a cup of tea. These are giant, soft-centered, peanut-buttery cookies loaded with oats, chocolate chips, and enough colorful M&M’s to make them feel like a celebration.

They’re the kind of cookie you can slide across the kitchen counter to someone who’s had A DAY.

First day of middle school? Cookie.

First college chemistry exam? Cookie.

Spent three hours trying to buy a textbook only to discover that the required online access code costs approximately the same as a small appliance?

Cookie for Mom.

Food is a love language around here, and sometimes love looks like homemade bread and a carefully planned dinner.

Sometimes it looks like a cookie roughly the size of your face.

There is room for both.

The Little Fridge Vacay

You’ll notice that I don’t tell you to preheat your oven right away.

That’s intentional.

Living and baking at altitude has taught me that cookie dough generally benefits from a little vacay in the refrigerator before baking. And honestly, don’t we all?

Chilling gives the flour and oats time to hydrate, lets all those flavors get cozy with one another, and helps keep these enormous cookies from spreading halfway to Kansas once they hit the oven.

I like to scoop the dough first and refrigerate the cookie dough balls overnight. That way, when you’re ready to bake, there’s no wrestling cold cookie dough with a scoop. Past You has already done the work.

Past You is delightful.

Make Them Now, Save Them for a Homework Emergency

This is also a fantastic cookie dough to keep in the freezer.

Once you’ve scooped the dough into those gloriously gigantic balls, you can freeze them in an airtight container for about two months.

And here’s the beautiful part: you don’t even have to thaw them.

Just pull out however many you need and bake them straight from frozen.

This is extremely useful information when someone announces at 8:37 p.m. that there’s a test tomorrow.

Or a project.

Or friends coming over.

Or you’ve looked at the tuition bill again.

Emergency cookies. We believe in preparedness around here.

A Few Things Before You Bake

For the flour, spoon it into your measuring cup and level it off rather than scooping directly from the bag. Better yet, weigh it if you’ve got a kitchen scale handy. Too much flour can turn our beautiful giant cookies into hockey pucks, and nobody asked for sporting equipment.

When you add the flour, baking soda, and salt, mix only until the dry ingredients disappear. Then grab a wooden spoon for the oats, M&M’s, and chocolate chips.

Overworked cookie dough is a crime.

Also, feel free to play with the chocolate. I love semi-sweet chocolate chips here, but a combination of dark and semi-sweet is delicious too.

There is no Cookie Police.

Make what you love.

Back to School Giant Monster Cookies

Makes: Approximately 10–12 giant cookies, depending on the size of your scoop
Bake temperature: 350°F
Bake time: 10–13 minutes
Chill time: Overnight recommended

Ingredients

• 1 cup salted butter, softened at room temperature (2 sticks/16 tablespoons)
• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or measure with your heart)
• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled or weighed
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup old-fashioned whole rolled oats
• 1 1/4 cups M&M’s
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, or a combination of dark and semi-sweet

Instructions

Don’t preheat your oven yet. We’re giving this cookie dough a little refrigerator vacay first.

In a very large mixing bowl, beat the softened butter with an electric hand mixer on high speed until it’s creamy and fluffy. This is one recipe where I actually prefer my hand mixer, but you can absolutely bust out the KitchenAid if that’s your happy place.

Add the peanut butter and beat until it’s completely combined with the butter.

Add the granulated sugar and brown sugar and beat on high for at least one minute, until everything is well creamed and fluffy.

Add the eggs and vanilla and mix just until combined.

Time for the dry team.

Add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix just until the dry ingredients disappear into the dough, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Add the oats, M&M’s, and chocolate chips. Switch to a wooden spoon and stir just until everything is evenly distributed. Remember: overworked dough is a crime.

Using a large cookie scoop, portion the dough into balls. I use a giant #2 cookie scoop from a restaurant supply store because apparently subtlety has left the building.

Place the cookie dough balls onto a wax-paper-lined baking tray. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

When you’re ready to bake, preheat your oven to 350°F and line two cookie sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats. Both work beautifully.

Arrange the chilled cookie dough balls on the prepared pans, leaving a couple of inches between them. Because these cookies are enormous, I can fit about five on each cookie sheet.

Bake for 10–13 minutes. The edges should look set, but the centers may still look slightly underbaked.

That’s exactly what we want.

Leave the cookies on the baking sheet to cool completely. They’ll continue baking from the residual heat, which gives us those lovely soft centers without overbaking the edges.

If one comes out looking a little wonky, take a large round cookie cutter—I use a 5-inch one—and gently scoot it around the warm cookie to nudge it back into a perfect circle.

Totally unnecessary.

Also ridiculously satisfying.

Freezer Instructions

The scooped cookie dough can be frozen in an airtight container for about two months.

There’s no need to thaw it before baking. Bake the frozen dough at 350°F for approximately the same amount of time, adding another minute or two if needed.

Future You will be very pleased with this arrangement.

Storage

Once completely cooled, store your monster cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for about 3–4 days.

Assuming they last that long.

One Cookie for the Road

If you’re me, you’re going to “taste test” one before handing them over.

Quality control.

It’s important.

And yes, they’ll be good enough for college homework. Or middle-school homework. Or elementary-school homework. Or sitting alone at the kitchen counter after writing the tuition check.

Back to school is officially in full swing, Spirit Halloween has already opened a store in my neighborhood, and apparently time waits for no one.

So make the cookies.

Make ’em huge.

Slide one across the counter to somebody you love.

And save one for yourself.

We deserve it.